I'm Bored with my Marriage

I got this in an email this morning and thought it was share worthy! Happy Loving!

I will not leave you nor forsake you.Joshua 1:5b

Actress Courteney Cox recently played a woman bored with her marriage, and she admitted in an interview that the movie was true to her life. Describing husband David Arquette, she said, "We've been married for ten years...I'm bored with my life and bored with my marriage." The couple has since separated and friends don't expect their marriage to survive.¹

That's a sad example of the world's approach to marriage. They enjoy it for a while, then get bored and move on to something else. But Christians think differently because we have a God who is neither bored nor boring. He's eternally committed to us, and He expects us to reflect His loyalty to those we love and marry.

The Lord said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." As believers, we have security in the love and faithfulness God shows us. Commitment in marriage is based not on moods or impulses but on the fidelity we find in our walk with God.

Don't get bored. Get biblical. Dedicate yourself afresh to the Lord Jesus and to the spouse He has given you.
 
In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. Robert Anderson

Not Every War is Fought with Words.....

Some of the most nasty, deadly and powerful fights I have had with my husband are the ones where no words are spoken, only emotions have the floor. Doing that dirty dance of hate, discord and malice, in the midst of those battles I wonder where the Lord is... Is He present during those times in our marriage? Then, I realize that I have shut the door on Him and have decided to handle the situation myself... poorly I might add. 

Suddenly the reality that this could go on forever if I don't humble myself takes my breathe away. If I don't break the silence with a kind word or even gesture.... that we could be stuck like this forever because it seems, my emotions rule the house's ambiance. Sadly this is my realization each and every time, that I must humble myself to invite peace back in.... even when I'm right.

I don't know if you have ever found yourself in this predicament ... what do you do??? How long does it last? Are you the 1st to point fingers as to what went wrong or do you encourage a level playing field... a neutral carpet moment?

I have a friend whose husband made a bad purchasing decision without consulting his wife or even taking her advice prior to this purchase. When everything went south on the deal, she felt entitled to gloat about how right she was about it and how he should have listened to her. Nonetheless, he had done it and had place their family in deeper debt because of it. After listening to what she had to say about this deal gone bad, I asked her what did he say after the fact... he said," I feel so alone in this whole thing." Her eyes filled with tears and despair over this because no matter what, the decision that HE made had an outcome for THEM. They were both in it. It took me back to the vows we made so long ago or a short time ago, 'for better or for worse; for richer for poorer; in sickness and in health; til death do us part.' 

His statement broke my heart because I had to think of how many times I had abandoned my husband in a poor decision that he had made forgetting that the word says clearly.... "and the two will become one flesh." I believe that to mean that in everything, we are together. 

Why write about this? Because I can. HA! No but really, as I have seen some of the darker side of marriage and have experienced what it looks like to come out on the other side. I no longer want to be just holding hands with my partner but I want to wrap my ankle around his, press my hip closer into him and making sure that our elbows are in constant contact... wanting to be like the word.. until we really are one flesh. 

I hope you are encouraged.

Subject to or Submission Part 1

If you were reading carefully yesterday, you noticed the phrase "subject to" in the scripture and in the definitions. I don't know about you but when I first read that, the definition bit me! I think my pride swelled so that I could have spit!
To so many women the word "submission" is a bad word. I think mostly it's just used badly. Many words can be a weapon of mass destruction if used in malice or a way to "lord over" someone. To hear my husband yell at me "Submit!" was enough to send me the polar opposite direction and try even more so to rule him (...yet your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you. Gen 3:16). I believe over time he and I learned more about what position we are to stand in and he no longer reminds me to submit. Now I hold that position as something I want to do to be honorable before God.
There have been a few who say to not submit so much to our husbands that we may lose our identities. I beg to differ on this, the word says, ... and they will become one flesh. Gen 2:24. He is my identity and I am his. We are each other in essence (something that exists; in particular, a spiritual entity). Though we are separate we operate as a whole in so many areas of our lives we just can't help but identify each other.
One of my most favorite fairy tales is about a woman and man who loved each other deeply. She had beautiful long hair that he admired and he played beautifully his guitar for her which she loved.  The day before they were to marry, they wanted to gift each other and she sold her hair to have it made into guitar strings and he sold his guitar to buy her a beautiful barrette for her lovely hair. Each gave up something for the other that had great worth to them. It reminds me of the passage that says for us to do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value (or esteem) others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Phil 2:3-4 . In this case looking out for the interests of our husbands.
I know this seems to veer away from the heavy topic of submission a bit but this is background work that leads up to learning to submit.

Word Study:

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value (or esteem) others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Phil 2:3-4 

selfish -  Lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure

ambition - A strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work
vain conceit- false pride

humility - Humility is the quality of being humble: modest, not proud, doing something out of the goodness of your heart, not for yourself

value - The regard that something is held to deserve; the importance or preciousness of something

esteem - Respect and admire; Consider; deem

~Shalom

Let's Begin!

I would like to start first by defining the below scripture which is the basis of this blog:

Titus 2:3-5

  Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.  Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children,  to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

I believe that we see and call words on a day to day basis without really knowing the true meaning of them.  I know I have been guilty of that on many occasion then later realizing that I didn't really understand what I read or even heard. Those misunderstandings have had some negative impacts on my life. As the word says, In all things to get an understanding (Proverbs 4:7)... this includes God's word. 

Reverent- showing respect or reverence; respectful

Slanderer- one who attacks the reputation of another 

addicted- Physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance

self-control- the act of denying yourself; controlling your impulses

pure- Wholesome and untainted 

subject- Under the authority of

malign-  To make evil, harmful, and often untrue statements about; speak evil of

The best exercise I use to understand what I am reading is to find the definition and then replace the word with that defined word or phrase. For example:

Titus 2:3-5

  Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent (to show respect or honor) in the way they live, not to be slanderers (one who attacks the reputation of another)

or addicted (Physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance) to much wine, but to teach what is good.  Then they can urge (persuade, encourage) the younger women to love their husbands and children,  to be self-controlled (the act of denying yourself; controlling your impulses) and pure (Wholesome and untainted, without stain), to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject (Under the authority of)to their husbands, so that no one will malign (  To make evil, harmful, and often untrue statements about; speak evil of) the word of God.

My first encouragement to you is to redefine the words in this scripture or even another scripture and replace them with the truest definition and reread it. It will be so very eye opening. 

-Shalom

Allow me to introduce myself...

My name is Marion. I am a lover of the Lord Jesus Christ, a disciple of His and a Christian wife. My mission is to spread the word of my King to all who will listen and my audience is women. Married and to be married women.

I have been led to lead women out of the misunderstandings and misconceptions of what marriage is suppose to be like and help to expose God's true meaning of marriage, the role of a wife and how we lead wonderfully blessed lives as wives to our 'head of households'... our husbands.

We will be talking and learning about the word submission and God's intended purpose of power it brings into a woman's life; forgiveness and it's importance in the role of a spouse; bitterness and how it can ruin our lives and so much more.

You will be challenged to do things that you thought you'd never do and to find out things that you never knew about yourself or your husband.

This blog is not intended to be a quick fix or a cure all to any one but it is my duty to share with you what has been shared with me by the Holy Spirit and through the word of God. I will tell the truth and will expose lies of our enemy with the hope of helping you keep your eyes on the Lord... even when it gets tough and you want to quit.

Titus 2:3-5

  Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.  Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children,  to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

I pray now in the name of Jesus that the word that is shared here is anointed by His power and will move in the lives of women in need everywhere. I also pray for the grace of God to be upon on all the readers and that this will be used as a tool to help those find their way back to you again. I love you LORD and trust you to have your way in my life. Amen.