Some of the most nasty, deadly and powerful fights I have had with my husband are the ones where no words are spoken, only emotions have the floor. Doing that dirty dance of hate, discord and malice, in the midst of those battles I wonder where the Lord is... Is He present during those times in our marriage? Then, I realize that I have shut the door on Him and have decided to handle the situation myself... poorly I might add.
Suddenly the reality that this could go on forever if I don't humble myself takes my breathe away. If I don't break the silence with a kind word or even gesture.... that we could be stuck like this forever because it seems, my emotions rule the house's ambiance. Sadly this is my realization each and every time, that I must humble myself to invite peace back in.... even when I'm right.
I don't know if you have ever found yourself in this predicament ... what do you do??? How long does it last? Are you the 1st to point fingers as to what went wrong or do you encourage a level playing field... a neutral carpet moment?
I have a friend whose husband made a bad purchasing decision without consulting his wife or even taking her advice prior to this purchase. When everything went south on the deal, she felt entitled to gloat about how right she was about it and how he should have listened to her. Nonetheless, he had done it and had place their family in deeper debt because of it. After listening to what she had to say about this deal gone bad, I asked her what did he say after the fact... he said," I feel so alone in this whole thing." Her eyes filled with tears and despair over this because no matter what, the decision that HE made had an outcome for THEM. They were both in it. It took me back to the vows we made so long ago or a short time ago, 'for better or for worse; for richer for poorer; in sickness and in health; til death do us part.'
His statement broke my heart because I had to think of how many times I had abandoned my husband in a poor decision that he had made forgetting that the word says clearly.... "and the two will become one flesh." I believe that to mean that in everything, we are together.
Why write about this? Because I can. HA! No but really, as I have seen some of the darker side of marriage and have experienced what it looks like to come out on the other side. I no longer want to be just holding hands with my partner but I want to wrap my ankle around his, press my hip closer into him and making sure that our elbows are in constant contact... wanting to be like the word.. until we really are one flesh.
